Dog Kisses in Heaven

"Bet you can't guess who is here?" This was the usual question one of us would ask as a neighborhood couple walked toward the house. Ultimately this was a rhetorical question. We both knew the excited barks and jumping coming from Sydney and Katie could only mean that James and Charlotte were headed our way. The girls loved to see James and Charlotte. As they were taking their daily walks they would stop and give love and treats to the dogs in the neighborhood. These treats varied from cheese to hot dogs.

You could tell that James and Charlotte enjoyed interacting with the dogs. James was always down on their level and Charlotte was always a little more reserved, but they were both so kind and always smiling.

I will never forget the time we had just pulled up in a small convertible Christian used to have, and the girls hopped out of the car running as fast as they could towards the road. Of course, there was a car coming as they dashed madly toward James and Charlotte who were still across the street. Needless to say we all had quite a scare that day, but it just goes to show how excited they would get. 

We haven't seen James and Charlotte much in the last year or so. I contributed that to the fact that we were busy and maybe they weren't walking as much. They live across the neighborhood, so we wouldn't see them on a regular basis. Christian asked me about them a week ago. The next day I heard that Charlotte had passed.

James stopped by today and talked about Charlotte and the last few months. After being married for so many years, this has been devastating. While I have my doubts about the existence of heaven, I can only imagine Katie and Sydney greeting Charlotte in heaven just as they did when they were here with us. 

Does History Repeat Itself?

I always say that I am going to write a positive blog post to talk about the fur babies, but that rarely seems to happen. That is ultimately because I don't feel as compelled to express my frustration about those issues. When something negative happens, writing about it provides me with a necessary outlet.

When I found myself combing through old Facebook posts (I mean three to four years old), I knew that writing a blog post was the only thing that was going to help me cope. Cocoa recently went to the vet for watery eyes. Now this is pretty typical for her in the spring and fall, but this year it was significantly worse. No big deal. Allergies. Give her Benadryl. Now, the bad news.

Ok. Describing it as bad news might be a stretch. Let's define it as not good news or not as bad as it could be news. Cocoa has a heart murmur. I know, I know, dogs can live with a heart murmur for years. BUT.... There is the last time, our only frame of reference, and that turned out to be disastrous. As the doctor talked to me about the murmur, my eyes filled with tears. He tried to be reassuring. Most dogs can live for years with a heart murmur he told me. I have heard this before, and the last time our dear sweet Katie was gone within a year and a few months. You are probably wondering how all of this actually connects to me looking through old Facebook posts. Um, I was trying to determine how many months we had from the beginning of Katie's heart murmur to the end with her congestive heart and kidney failure. I thought for sure there would be enough clues to help me figure it out. Crazy, yes, possibly. I could even call the doctor's office, but I don't want them to think I am totally paranoid. These are NOT the same circumstances. Who knows how long Katie had actually had her murmur. She was older than Cocoa is now, so overall, Cocoa is in better health. Still, there is this nagging part of my brain that is totally colored by that experience. I just cannot let it go.

So what does it all mean? It just means that I cherish every day. Every moment suddenly seems more important than it did. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. I am not ready to go through the loss again, but we will face each day as it comes. Here's to hoping that we have years ahead.

Moving On

Sixteen months have passed since we lost Katie, and Sydney has been gone just a little over a year. A week before the anniversary of losing Sydney, I finally replaced the background picture on my laptop. It was one of my favorite pictures of Sydney in the snow. It's past time to start focusing on the fur babies that are still with us. I replaced that picture with a picture of a sweet Cocoa Bean at an early age. She didn't belong to us then, but who can resist that face?

Sometimes it is hard to recognize that she is no longer a puppy. She has only been with us two and a half years, so I have to remember that she is eight. Recently I had to make an appointment for her with a specialist. She has had a knee that pops when manipulated. She has been on activity restriction. As I was talking to myself, I guess my way of committing to memory that I needed to establish this appointment, it wasn't her name that I used. I said, "I have to remember to make Sydney an appointment." Yikes! Sydney was always seeing specialists for various problems. Old habits die hard. 

Cocoa has so missed her daily walks as we have tried to get her knee to heal. Her demeanor suffers so much when she doesn't get a walk. It was breaking my heart. We finally decided that we needed to see a specialist. Fortunately, we got great news. She suffers from tendinitis. We can deal with that. Walks are back on. Her outlook is much approved. But all this serves as a reminder that she is no puppy. No matter her energy level and her newness to our family, she is 8. She is considered a geriatric dog. Here's to hoping we have her for at least another eight years.