Too Soon

I have been thinking about my first blog post following Katie's passing for awhile now. Basically, this post was supposed to be about the positive. It was time for me to focus on some of the great stories I had about our furry family members as well as introduce Cocoa and Jack. Alas, that positive post is going to have to wait.

Sydney, The Blonde Bear, learned to shake at a very young age. Not from anything we did. My mom actually taught her to shake. Every time my mom came to visit when Sydney was a puppy, she would pick up Sydney's paw and say, "shake." We never reinforced this, so you can imagine our surprise when someone asked her to shake and she held out her paw. This actually took place on our wedding day during a stopover at our apartment to get pictures taken with her. It is one of those moments ingrained in my memory forever.

Yesterday, my mom came to visit and as always she asked Sydney to shake. My precious girl still offers that paw without hesitation. This time, this one small act had the ability to rock our whole world. Mom felt a spot that she thought was swollen. After inspecting it myself, it seemed to be more like a tumor than swelling. Needless to say we made a call to the vet's office first thing this morning, and Christian took her to the earliest appointment we could get.

I waited for over an hour to hear from Christian. Given the time span, I knew something was terribly wrong. That call was devastating. Turns out it is a tumor. A tumor that is malignant, aggressive, and stage 3. Likelihood is that it has already spread. Sydney is almost 15, and I don't expect her to live forever, but I absolutely cannot imagine losing her so close to Katie. The feelings are just too raw right now. There is hope, but it seems so small right now. Given the location of the tumor there are just too many complications to allow for its removal. There is, however, a chemo drug that may shrink it and allow for her to live out her days until old age takes her. We are awaiting test results to make sure her body can handle it. Once that happens we will give it a try. It is important to know that chemo drugs for dogs are not usually as traumatic as they for humans. Most dogs handle them just fine, so we will see what happens. If that doesn't work, we are probably looking at one to four weeks with our girl.

I have to admit that it is hard to remain positive about her treatment options, simply because of our recent experiences with Katie. The more medicine I gave Katie, the worse she seemed to get. I know that is completely illogical, because things just happen, but it is hard to get past that right now. However, if there is one dog that can overcome, it is this girl. She has had to overcome so much in her almost 15 years: Hip dysplasia at a year old with surgery and permanent arthritis, thyroid issues, emergency spleen removal, mast cell tumor removal (this one was about three years ago and was non invasive), loss of most of her hearing, and the list goes on. She has always persevered, and I can only hope that this continues to be the case.