Making the Tough Decisions

This week started with a doctor's visit that indicated that Katie was in the final stages of kidney failure. She spent most of the week at the vet's office getting fluids which at first seemed very promising. Unfortunately, the week did not end that way. Her last day of fluids did not produce the desired results, so we are enjoying our last weekend with her.

It is so hard to know this is coming especially when her spirits still seem good. The problem is that she just isn't eating. There have been moments over the last week and certain foods, but the diet is limited. Bread has been the one constant in her diet this week. She eats more of that than anything else. I made a special trip to a local bakery, The Underground Baking Co., today for a special loaf of bread that I thought she might enjoy. The kindness of the owner, Matthew, was so overwhelming. It is amazing how a complete stranger had the power to not only bring me to tears, but to fill my heart with appreciation for others. Our whole family is so grateful.

We have been celebrating Katie Bug Day today, and we will probably celebrate again tomorrow. The idea came from an article I read once about a man who took his dog out for a day to celebrate all of his favorite things before he passed. Unfortunately, many of Katie's favorite things are outdoor pursuits. The weather is not very cooperative today, and she really does not have that kind of energy. I say that, but this morning you would not have believed me. Katie has a special ball. She has had this ball her entire life (ok, we have had a couple of replacements along the way, but I did stock up on the same one). It is the one toy that she always wants, the one toy that you better not lose or you have a frantic dog. This morning, as I lay in bed, she took her toy to Christian. I could hear them playing. She was catching her ball and playing like she has not in several weeks. As I write this, her ball is right beside her. It is her security "blanket". If we had known this was coming, we would have done Katie Bug Day differently. We would have given her a steak and taken her to the river, but that was not meant to be. In the big picture though, I cannot think of anything better than her playing with her ball. She also got to visit Christian's school when he had to go pick up a book. Believe it or not she loves to make that trip with him. My mom also came to visit her today and brought special cookies. She actually ate a couple of bites of that as well.

This is the toughest decision we have ever faced, but we cannot let her suffer in hunger. It is so hard to see her get excited about food and then not eat much. It is time, and we know it. Wishing we could turn back time......