Blonde Rocky

Today has been one of those days where I had to remind myself that it's okay to still miss our girls. Today marks two years since we lost our Sydney Girl. Today is the day that I was reminded that there were so many good times.

It's amazing the things that go through your head during that uninterrupted time in the car. I had a full hour and fifteen minutes today to relive that day two years ago. That moment I carried her into the vet's office... I look back at that moment and think how did I manage that. I carried my 37 lb. baby into the office cradled in my arms while Christian waited in the car with Cocoa. I opened the door on my own without dropping her or shifting her in anyway that would cause her discomfort. Really, how did I do that? The more I revisited that experience I knew I had to call Christian. He got me refocused as he told his favorite story about our girl.

We live near the Carl Sandburg Home and would occasionally take the girls there to walk. If you have ever walked to the top of Big Glassy, you know it is a journey that is all uphill. On this particular day Christian decided that he was going all the way to the top with Katie. Um, really?! You can count me out. More importantly, there was NO way that Sydney could make that climb. Given her hip issues and arthritis, there was no way I was going to push that girl to walk to the top.

Picture of Sydney from a trip to Charleston. 

As we stood there in a clearing, I watched Christian and Katie take off. She pranced in front of him with her ears bouncing like antennae. Slowly, I began to nudge Sydney back down the way we came. She was resistant. To be honest, resistant isn't a strong enough word. She was downright belligerent. Eventually, she got her way and we headed up after the other two. Yes, I had just let the dog manipulate me, but she was insistent. That's the thing about Sydney, she had this way about her, this silent determination that always amazed us.

That was a slow walk up to Big Glassy. Every step was slow and deliberate, but it was determined. As Christian told that story today he mentioned the feeling that he felt when he saw us arrive at the top. I will never forget his look of disbelief. I explained that the choice hadn't been mine, but I had been forced to head that direction against my will. From there on out Christian dubbed her "Blonde Rocky."

This was such an appropriate name for her. She battled so many health issues her entire life but emerged on the other side with dignity and perseverance. Even to the end she was a fighter, and I am so lucky that she was a part of my life, even if it was too short of a time.

How to Train a Cat

Ok, I am not really going to teach you how to train your cat, but I am going to talk about our adventures in training our sweet guy, Jack. However, based on the minimal work we have put towards these actions in our house, I have no doubt that cats can be trained given the right amount of devotion and immense patience.

It all started with the fact that Jack was becoming more friendly than desired when someone was eating. While I love that sweet black and white face, seeing it hovering over my plate left a lot to be desired. To combat this I just started directing Jack away from the plate by pushing him away with my arm and saying, "no". This almost always forced him into a sit position. Then we began adding sit to the routine. Now, as long as there is food involved, I can almost always get him to sit. The execution of this is not perfect. He often uses those front paws to bat at me. Hard to get mad at him though because he is still sitting. That being said, there are certain foods that almost make you wonder if his bottom is on a spring. Cheese or any food with cheese inevitably means that we will be asking him to sit repeatedly.

So sweet when he's sleeping!

The newest training goal has revolved around sleeping at night. Jack has his own room in our house. Since he has lived with us (yes, the last six years), he has slept in his room at night. We round him up (the difficulty of this varies from night to night) and put him in the room with the door closed. Early on we found him full of energy at night. This, of course, meant that we didn't sleep. The easy way out was leaving him in his room. About two weeks ago, I decided to explore leaving him out at night. I had hoped that he would come in and sleep in our bed without circling our heads and walking all over us. Didn't happen. He might pop in once when we first go to bed, but after that we don't see him. Once morning rolls around, Jack comes in crying, ready to eat. Sometimes he will even stand up beside the bed and cry in my face as I lay in bed. This is where the training piece comes in. Initially this started around 3:30 in the morning. I would get up, he would run out the door (getting excited, because he thought it was time to eat), and I would shut the bedroom door behind him. This tactic really works. He now won't come in to the room until he hears me get up in the morning. I am so pleased with his progress. 

All this to say, it can be done! Cats are trainable too. We spend time training our dogs, but maybe it's time we train our cats too. 

Dog Kisses in Heaven

"Bet you can't guess who is here?" This was the usual question one of us would ask as a neighborhood couple walked toward the house. Ultimately this was a rhetorical question. We both knew the excited barks and jumping coming from Sydney and Katie could only mean that James and Charlotte were headed our way. The girls loved to see James and Charlotte. As they were taking their daily walks they would stop and give love and treats to the dogs in the neighborhood. These treats varied from cheese to hot dogs.

You could tell that James and Charlotte enjoyed interacting with the dogs. James was always down on their level and Charlotte was always a little more reserved, but they were both so kind and always smiling.

I will never forget the time we had just pulled up in a small convertible Christian used to have, and the girls hopped out of the car running as fast as they could towards the road. Of course, there was a car coming as they dashed madly toward James and Charlotte who were still across the street. Needless to say we all had quite a scare that day, but it just goes to show how excited they would get. 

We haven't seen James and Charlotte much in the last year or so. I contributed that to the fact that we were busy and maybe they weren't walking as much. They live across the neighborhood, so we wouldn't see them on a regular basis. Christian asked me about them a week ago. The next day I heard that Charlotte had passed.

James stopped by today and talked about Charlotte and the last few months. After being married for so many years, this has been devastating. While I have my doubts about the existence of heaven, I can only imagine Katie and Sydney greeting Charlotte in heaven just as they did when they were here with us. 

Does History Repeat Itself?

I always say that I am going to write a positive blog post to talk about the fur babies, but that rarely seems to happen. That is ultimately because I don't feel as compelled to express my frustration about those issues. When something negative happens, writing about it provides me with a necessary outlet.

When I found myself combing through old Facebook posts (I mean three to four years old), I knew that writing a blog post was the only thing that was going to help me cope. Cocoa recently went to the vet for watery eyes. Now this is pretty typical for her in the spring and fall, but this year it was significantly worse. No big deal. Allergies. Give her Benadryl. Now, the bad news.

Ok. Describing it as bad news might be a stretch. Let's define it as not good news or not as bad as it could be news. Cocoa has a heart murmur. I know, I know, dogs can live with a heart murmur for years. BUT.... There is the last time, our only frame of reference, and that turned out to be disastrous. As the doctor talked to me about the murmur, my eyes filled with tears. He tried to be reassuring. Most dogs can live for years with a heart murmur he told me. I have heard this before, and the last time our dear sweet Katie was gone within a year and a few months. You are probably wondering how all of this actually connects to me looking through old Facebook posts. Um, I was trying to determine how many months we had from the beginning of Katie's heart murmur to the end with her congestive heart and kidney failure. I thought for sure there would be enough clues to help me figure it out. Crazy, yes, possibly. I could even call the doctor's office, but I don't want them to think I am totally paranoid. These are NOT the same circumstances. Who knows how long Katie had actually had her murmur. She was older than Cocoa is now, so overall, Cocoa is in better health. Still, there is this nagging part of my brain that is totally colored by that experience. I just cannot let it go.

So what does it all mean? It just means that I cherish every day. Every moment suddenly seems more important than it did. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. I am not ready to go through the loss again, but we will face each day as it comes. Here's to hoping that we have years ahead.

Moving On

Sixteen months have passed since we lost Katie, and Sydney has been gone just a little over a year. A week before the anniversary of losing Sydney, I finally replaced the background picture on my laptop. It was one of my favorite pictures of Sydney in the snow. It's past time to start focusing on the fur babies that are still with us. I replaced that picture with a picture of a sweet Cocoa Bean at an early age. She didn't belong to us then, but who can resist that face?

Sometimes it is hard to recognize that she is no longer a puppy. She has only been with us two and a half years, so I have to remember that she is eight. Recently I had to make an appointment for her with a specialist. She has had a knee that pops when manipulated. She has been on activity restriction. As I was talking to myself, I guess my way of committing to memory that I needed to establish this appointment, it wasn't her name that I used. I said, "I have to remember to make Sydney an appointment." Yikes! Sydney was always seeing specialists for various problems. Old habits die hard. 

Cocoa has so missed her daily walks as we have tried to get her knee to heal. Her demeanor suffers so much when she doesn't get a walk. It was breaking my heart. We finally decided that we needed to see a specialist. Fortunately, we got great news. She suffers from tendinitis. We can deal with that. Walks are back on. Her outlook is much approved. But all this serves as a reminder that she is no puppy. No matter her energy level and her newness to our family, she is 8. She is considered a geriatric dog. Here's to hoping we have her for at least another eight years. 

Thankful Doesn't Even Cover It

The last year has been one that has challenged me personally in ways that I cannot even put into words. Losing Katie and Sydney truly rocked my world. On top of that, there was another event in my life that brought a lot of old feelings to the surface. I am not going to lie, a great deal of time surrounding these events were spent in sadness and anger. I have gained a lot of perspective, but I could not have done that without the love of my sweet Cocoa Bean.

We don't spend our Thanksgiving going around the table sharing what we are thankful for, so I am not sure how this conversation emerged. Cocoa was able to join us at mom's for dinner this year, and we were so pleased with her behavior. I made the comment that I was so thankful for her. Christian laughed about how most people were thankful for their health or their families, but I was thankful for the dog (Of course, he is really thankful for her too. It was more of an opportunity to give me a hard time). 

I have had some time to reflect on this, and I don't know that thankful even covers how I feel about having Cocoa in my life in the last year. During these overwhelming periods of loss, I know that she was my rock. My sadness was apparently so evident, and she knew that I was hurting. She stayed by my side as I wallowed in my feelings. Her sensitive nature and compassionate demeanor helped with the healing that I so desperately needed this year.

If your Thanksgiving did not include being thankful for your four-legged family members, take a few minutes to consider what they have added to your life over the last year. You may find, like I did, that they have contributed so much more than you even realized. 

You are my Sunshine

Sunshine is a powerful force of nature. Not sure why sunshine is on my mind right now. Maybe it's the fact that it is twenty something degrees right now. Maybe it's because we are approaching the one year anniversary of our loss of Katie (boy, that girl worshipped the sun). Who knows...

Sunshine has the ability to bring out unique characteristics in our pets. For some, this love of the sun almost borders on obsessive as was the case with Katie. During the summer she lived to be on the front porch. She could be out there without a leash and would never move off the porch. The priority for her was the warmth of the sun. The hotter the better. There are times that we would touch her and her black fur would be scorching. 

Sydney had a very different response to the sunshine. She would flop over on her back and slide down the hill. This action is what earned her the nickname the Blonde Otter. It was so amazing that this arthritic girl could move like this. I often wondered if the warmth of the grass felt good to her joints. 

Take a close look and you can see Sydney shimmying down the hill on her back. 

Cocoa is the odd animal out when it comes to sun, because even Jack is a sun lover. He loves to be on the screen porch in the summer. You often find him sunbathing. Even when it is not summer, he seeks out the sun. I watched the other day as his position moved several times over the day. Basically, as the sun coming from the window moved, so did Jack. 

The fourth pose I took of Jack as he followed the sun. 

The great outdoors are wonderful for our animals when it is warm outside. They often embrace it and seem to love every moment they spend outside. However, as we bypass fall and go straight to winter, please remember your pets. While there may be some sunshine, it definitely is not warm outside.