A Gift from the Heart

While everyone else is celebrating Valentine's Day, we are celebrating a major milestone. This is a day that we never in our wildest dreams imagined would occur. It is a day that even six weeks ago seemed like a dream. Today our Blonde Bear turns fifteen years old. 

I will never forget that day when she was just a little over a year old, and everything in her little life changed. We lived in Greenville, SC at the time, and our apartment building backed up to an outdoor area that had a great walking track. We took Sydney there all the time, and some of my fondest memories are from there. That's the place where she first tasted blackberries. While most dogs like meat, this girl likes fruit. She would walk up to the bushes and pull off the berries so gently. It was almost as if she didn't want to crush them, instead she wanted to savor them. It's the same place where Christian let her off the leash and she went running into the pond to chase the geese. I wasn't there for that one, but I did make it in time to see the resulting bath. Christian liked to pretend he was mad at her, but when he told that story it was obvious that he was amused by her antics and the innocent look she gave him afterwards. It was also the place that she got stung by a bee for the first time. But none of those had the life shattering change as that one day.

The walk that changed our lives was the one walk where she went from enjoying the great outdoors to collapsing, her hind legs giving out on her. Christian carried her home that day, and soon after we had a diagnosis of hip dysplasia. This has plagued her life since then. Surgery helped provide some relief, but arthritis has been a never ending battle. This was just one of many health related issues she has battled, but she has done so with the heart of a champion. 

We have been thankful for every birthday, for every year of her life, a life that we never expected to last this long. This year though it is extra special. It is special because we recognize how short the lives of our babies really are. The loss of Katie really served to make that real for us. Of course, even six weeks ago, Sydney's 15th birthday seemed unattainable. With the cancer diagnosis, I wasn't very optimistic, but turns out our girl is still a fighter. She's had to be since the beginning, and it looks like she will be to the end. 

Go Bananas!

If you have read this blog, or if you know me at all, you know that we believe we have the smartest, most amazing pets. While we know this is true, there are times that they surprise even us.

If you know the game Bananagrams, you may be shocked to learn that even cats can play. That's right! Jack is a Bananagrams expert. One night Christian and I sat at our kitchen table playing. We were across from each other and Jack sat in the chair in between us watching intently. Those eyes were totally engaged, and you couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind.

As a player runs out of letters, he or she says "pull", indicating that each player must take a new letter tile. After watching this happen several times, Jack obviously got the hang of it. One of us said, "pull" and he easily knocked a tile into his seat. After picking it up and placing it back on the table, we just assumed this was a fluke. The next time, he repeated this action. The third time, Jack tried to send us a message. Instead of easily knocking the tile onto his chair, he took his paw and hit a tile as hard as possible, sending it flying through the air. We finally got the message, he wanted to play too.

There are so many memories that stand out in my mind about Jack, but this is by far one of my favorites. It is such a reminder of his personality. He is deliberate, patient to a point, and without a doubt persistent. It amazes me even now to think about that night. The moral of this story is don't be afraid to let your pets "Go Bananas!", you never know what may happen.

O, Christmas Tree

Christmas has long since passed, but we still have our small tree up in our bedroom. That tree is staying up indefinitely. It seems silly, but I refuse to take it down until Sydney is gone. This may eventually change, but for now the tree stays. One of my favorite things during the holiday season is to wake up and see Sydney lying on the floor with the glow of Christmas lights illuminating her. I can't imagine no longer having that experience, and I want to savor it for as long as possible.

This picture doesn't do justice to what I see when I wake up and see Sydney under the Christmas tree. 

Given Sydney's last blood work, we were having a difficult time being optimistic. Then, last Friday happened. Red blood count, while still low, has improved. Kidney function is normal. Needless to say, I cried tears of relief with that news. In that instant, the stress that I did not know I was experiencing was suddenly gone.

That tree almost came down that day, but now it has a superstitious quality to it. If I take it down, will things decline? It's almost like someone wearing the same hat when their team plays. I am not willing to take that chance, and I am thankful for every morning I see that sweet Blonde Bear under the Christmas Tree.

Chemo, What's it Good for?

Sydney has officially been on chemo for two weeks now. To be honest, it seemed to be going rather well. No major side effects, except for a slight upset stomach. This being evident from many of Sydney's actions and the intense rumbling we could hear coming from her stomach, none of which actually ended in vomiting, thankfully. We picked up a new medicine to help coat her stomach. That seems to have helped with the stomach upset, given that there is no more grass eating or excessive gulping.

We have really felt positive these last two weeks, and I have to admit that is no small feat given what we went through with Katie in the end. Sydney's first chemo blood work was done on Friday. We weren't even worried about how it was going to turn out. This girl has always handled every medical problem that has come her way, and there have been plenty of those. Needless to say, we were a little disappointed. Her red blood cell count has dropped slightly, so she is anemic. Her BUN (blood urea nitrogen) has gone up. It has only gone up slightly, but I am terrified that those numbers will only continue to deteriorate. After Katie, I have a firm grasp on what an increase in BUN means. Sydney's is only 6 points above normal, whereas Katie's was well over 100 points above normal in the end. Regardless, I have a sense of deja vu.

Because it is apparent that Sydney's body cannot handle her current does of chemo, we have cut her current dose in half and will recheck her blood in a week. I am hopeful that her numbers will return to normal, but it is difficult to remain optimistic. Additionally, we have to hope that this smaller dosage is enough to keep the cancer from spreading.

There are only three weeks until my blonde bear turns 15. I have never wished more for such a milestone. A lot can happen in three weeks, but no matter what, I know that we are so lucky that she has been our rock for so long.

The Cocoa Bean

After Jack arrived, we decided that we were done adding pets to our family for awhile. Small house, two humans, three animals -- we were to capacity. The universe had other plans for us, however. We did, in fact, add a fourth furry member to our family.

Cocoa came to us at the age of five and a half. This rambunctious, hyper, and sweet girl has experienced a lot of loss in her life. She belonged to Christian's parents. Christian's dad trained her so well. He would leave a row of treats out, and she would only grab one a day. She also did not bark. She would make this very small sound that sounded like a whisper of a bark. As a young dog, she would stay beside Billy when he returned home from his dialysis treatments. Three and half years ago, Billy passed away and Cocoa lost an important person in her life. Fast forward to December 2012 -- Christian's mom became unable to care for Cocoa prior to her passing, and Cocoa came to live with us. Four animals were a lot, but she was such a great addition. She kept everyone on their toes.

I am not going to lie, there were some ups and downs. Cocoa can be very submissive in some situations. Initially, we had to be very careful how we said anything to her, otherwise we might be cleaning up a small accident. The frequency of these accidents has improved, but we still have to be careful sometimes. Additionally, Cocoa will put herself to bed if she thinks she has done something wrong or if she thinks someone (human or animal) is upset with her. Talk about sensitive!

Cocoa quickly acclimated to her place in our home. Within a week, she found her voice. No more barking whispers. She could make as much noise as any of the others. She also, eventually, made friends with Jack. Jack was rather hostile towards her at first. Having never heard him hiss, I was shocked at his reactions to Cocoa. Of course, he got over it. As Cocoa laid on the couch one night, Jack slowly inched up and smacked her in the face, TWICE. The rest is history. Now they are the best of friends. They run, play, wrestle and create havoc. It is wonderful!

A year later, we are so thankful Cocoa Bean joined our family. She brings us a lot of joy with her lovable, infectious nature.

That Darn Cat

A cat, not for us, but thanks anyway. Insert hysterical laughter. First, let me point out that Christian is allergic to cats, and I don't mean just a little bit. Prime example of this includes the time his grandmother brought him a t-shirt from Florida. She stayed with Christian's aunt and uncle that had a cat, and like all cats he was fascinated with her luggage. Christian puts on said t-shirt on and within an hour his eyes are watering and practically swollen shut.

So imagine our surprise when a cat picked us. One September night we are hanging out on the front porch while Sydney and Katie are doing their business, and strolling down our walkway was the most beautiful black and white cat. Well, in my very candid way of putting things, I said, "that is either the bravest cat or the damn stupidest cat ever." Within seconds of that, Sydney and Katie managed to chase him under the car where he just sat and looked at us after we took them inside. Now I am not going to lie, I fed this cat (gender yet to be determined) tuna that night. I am a sucker that way. I know, I know, that is a sure sign that a cat is going to stay. However, that is the last time I fed him for four days. Four of the rainiest days I can remember. Four days that he lived under our porch. Every time we would walk outside he would pop out from under the porch to say hello. Going to work? Yep, he would follow along and hop in the car.

Finally on the fourth day, our willpower to ignore this little creature ended. This may have been due more to the unrelenting rain than anything else, but it was one of the best decisions we ever made. Christian, of course, was not inclined to pick up this cat due to his allergies, and I was just plain freaked out by the idea of claws. Basically, this meant that Jack went by the name Sophie until I had the nerve to pick him up. He has a lot of hair, therefore making it impossible to tell his gender.

Once we discovered that we had given Jack a gender crisis, we set out to determine his name. Jack is named for two TV characters - Jack Bauer from 24 and Jack Bristow from Alias. At the time, we had planned on letting Jack explore the great outdoors, so giving him the name of two bad ass TV personalities was meant to bode well for his outside adventures. Of course, watching him cross the street with total abandon ended this freedom. He is now an indoor cat, but he has a very nice screened-in porch to enjoy the great outdoors.

Jack was a great addition to our household. He creates havoc and entertainment every day, and Christian's allergies have lessened with time. Here's to stray cats and forever homes.

Too Soon

I have been thinking about my first blog post following Katie's passing for awhile now. Basically, this post was supposed to be about the positive. It was time for me to focus on some of the great stories I had about our furry family members as well as introduce Cocoa and Jack. Alas, that positive post is going to have to wait.

Sydney, The Blonde Bear, learned to shake at a very young age. Not from anything we did. My mom actually taught her to shake. Every time my mom came to visit when Sydney was a puppy, she would pick up Sydney's paw and say, "shake." We never reinforced this, so you can imagine our surprise when someone asked her to shake and she held out her paw. This actually took place on our wedding day during a stopover at our apartment to get pictures taken with her. It is one of those moments ingrained in my memory forever.

Yesterday, my mom came to visit and as always she asked Sydney to shake. My precious girl still offers that paw without hesitation. This time, this one small act had the ability to rock our whole world. Mom felt a spot that she thought was swollen. After inspecting it myself, it seemed to be more like a tumor than swelling. Needless to say we made a call to the vet's office first thing this morning, and Christian took her to the earliest appointment we could get.

I waited for over an hour to hear from Christian. Given the time span, I knew something was terribly wrong. That call was devastating. Turns out it is a tumor. A tumor that is malignant, aggressive, and stage 3. Likelihood is that it has already spread. Sydney is almost 15, and I don't expect her to live forever, but I absolutely cannot imagine losing her so close to Katie. The feelings are just too raw right now. There is hope, but it seems so small right now. Given the location of the tumor there are just too many complications to allow for its removal. There is, however, a chemo drug that may shrink it and allow for her to live out her days until old age takes her. We are awaiting test results to make sure her body can handle it. Once that happens we will give it a try. It is important to know that chemo drugs for dogs are not usually as traumatic as they for humans. Most dogs handle them just fine, so we will see what happens. If that doesn't work, we are probably looking at one to four weeks with our girl.

I have to admit that it is hard to remain positive about her treatment options, simply because of our recent experiences with Katie. The more medicine I gave Katie, the worse she seemed to get. I know that is completely illogical, because things just happen, but it is hard to get past that right now. However, if there is one dog that can overcome, it is this girl. She has had to overcome so much in her almost 15 years: Hip dysplasia at a year old with surgery and permanent arthritis, thyroid issues, emergency spleen removal, mast cell tumor removal (this one was about three years ago and was non invasive), loss of most of her hearing, and the list goes on. She has always persevered, and I can only hope that this continues to be the case.